When the year is coming to an end, I always feel the need to take a closer look at my trust level. I look back at the past months and start analyzing: Who was a new recipient of my trust? Who has proven again that one can trust him/her unconditionally? What breach of trust did I experience and how did I deal with it? Whom have I met with suspicion and has it turned out to be justified? Whose trust did I perhaps unconsciously violate and what did I learn from it?
It is not easy to answer these questions honestly when it is about you. Whenever our trust is shaken, we become aware of our own vulnerability. When we ourselves have broken someone’s trust, we have to face the feeling of shame. Building trust and wanting to maintain it can be a character trait or a consciously chosen life task.
Some of us are naturally more trusting, some are more suspicious of other people. This is best revealed in a situation when something new begins, e.g. a new job or a new leadership task: Do I assume that I will be met with goodwill, or do I listen to that inner voice that warns me of the risks at every step and urges caution? To what extent is my trust linked to a sense of achievement or failure? Do I feel that I have to fight for trust and how difficult is it for me? Or do others trust me spontaneously and what may be the reason for it? If I have basic trust in my inner resources, does it automatically mean that I also trust other people more quickly? Is it important for me to be seen by others as trustworthy and why (not)?
What do you think? Do you believe that being trusting is inherited or learned? Is it always absolute or should one adapt the dosage depending on the circumstances? Is the trust in your own strengths and in those around you the same now as it was before the last family drama, the last job change or before the pandemic?
Who we trust depends on how high our expectations are that we will not to be disappointed by others. It’s ok not to take someone along into the New Year when you do not trust that person (anymore). But you cannot leave yourself behind!
Wanting to talk about it means to recognize that an analysis of your current situation, carefully setting your objectives and developing measures could be beneficial and constructive for you. I am at your disposal to guide you through this process when you are ready.
In the meantime, may you spend blessed holidays and look with confidence to the New Year!
Best wishes, Tatjana Gaspar