Toxic relationships – get rid of them!

When was the last time you took a closer look at your network of relationships? Do you do it regularly or do you take things as they come? Can you tell exactly how each relationship works and if there is a kind of balance?

At the beginning of any relationship, be it personal or professional, most of us are positive and all of our senses are in alert mode. We expect the relationship to be happy, joyful or productive with bright future prospects. In a relationship, whether in our family, at work or within our circle of friends, we are embedded in a field of mutual expectations. It would not be possible otherwise.

But what happens if this field of positive tension gets out of balance and degenerates, e.g., into abuse of power? What happens if one side is driven by excessive dominance and the other side sinks into complete dependency? How do we react when our gut feeling tells us for the first time that a relationship is toxic, not good for us? Assuming you were affected yourself (victim) and it was your partner or boss, how would you react? What would happen in case it is an entire social environment that creates a toxic group dynamic, which degenerates in severe bullying, for example?

Toxic relationships often develop insidiously, perhaps they explode unexpectedly. One cannot always pinpoint what sets them in motion, what exactly triggers the bully. There are cases in all social classes and age groups. In the wrong place at the wrong time – and suddenly you find yourself in a spiral of abuse of power, your back against the wall, exposed to constant psychological stress, hostility or even physical violence.

No case is like the other. But each is potentially serious because one is in an emotional state of war, and abuse of power tends to increase rather than decrease.

Fighting back begins when you start to talk about it. Disclosing the abuse means overcoming your own fear, standing by yourself.

There is always a way through or a way out and a solution, I know that from my own experience.

I hope that you and your loved ones are not exposed to toxic relationships. If so, I strongly recommend that you confide in someone you trust. I am also available at any time, should you need to talk.

Meanwhile, may you find leisure to enjoy the lightness of summer.

Best wishes,

Tatjana Gaspar