The pursuit of happiness

Do you also feel sometimes an inner restlessness when you think that you should change something about yourself or your life, but you don’t know exactly how and where to start and whether it will be worthwhile in the end? Maybe you feel as though you are spinning in circles or staring into a tunnel. The more you think about it, the less you are able to reach a decision.

This is not unusual because in our self-perception we sometimes only see part of ourselves or our life. But the best solution always includes as many aspects and angles as possible and emerges from the big picture. After all, your life is not just a snapshot, but a journey full of experiences. Your personality is the result of a long development, during which you had to process all that you had experienced.

It often takes some effort to admit a dilemma and to confide in someone when we are stuck. Try to turn the tables: Consider the dilemma not as a problem, but as part of an optimization process.

The central question is: What would make you happy?

Here is a task for you: Draw or write your personal goal on a piece of paper. It must be realistic and achievable. Hang it up where you can see it again and again. Close your eyes for a moment and imagine that you have just reached your goal. A great feeling, isn’t it? Now write down all your outstanding qualities and skills. Take your time, be honest and benevolent. Read your notes out aloud and, with each word, think of situations in which your characteristics or competencies became visible. Feel the pride inside you!

Now the second part of the task: How are you perceived by those around you? Find 3-5 persons whom you trust and ask them to make a list of your qualities and competencies as part of this optimization process. The list should reflect their personal opinions and be appreciative: What makes you stand out in their eyes? Where could you benefit from more self-confidence? What other role could you successfully embody if you wanted to? You will be amazed at what you read about yourself.

With this exercise, you have multiplied the range of possibilities. Instead of the circles and the tunnel you may now perhaps see puzzle pieces or dominoes that you can combine until you like your picture. You will feel it, when your head, heart and gut are in harmony. Now you are at the start, your search is just beginning! The next step can only be achieved from a position of strength and serenity. If your dilemma appears more complex and your picture does not satisfy you yet, I will be happy to support you with further target-oriented exercises. You can and will get where you want to be!

In the meantime, may you thoroughly enjoy how positively you are perceived by others.

Best wishes, Tatjana Gaspar