in medias res
or in a nutshell

Intersection or turning point – where do you stand right now and what comes next?

When an important decision has to be made, we human beings normally listen to our head, our heart or our gut. Usually one of these three voices is the dominant one and moves us in a certain direction. We rarely take the time to weigh one against the other including all the possible effects. It happens again and again that we question our decisions afterwards. But since it is human nature to not want to openly admit such doubts, we try to justify our decisions and reluctantly accept criticism.

Which inner sign are you most likely to be guided by at the crossroads of life? Do you proceed rationally and logically, do you let emotions take precedence or do you listen to what your intuition whispers to you?

Often we are not really aware of our approach, but rather base ourselves on habit and routine. Perhaps it is in your nature to use free radicals such as constellations or numerals to help you take a decision. In retrospect, you simply feel the degree of satisfaction with your own decision and the hope that everything will turn out fine in the end.

But with corona, we are experiencing a previously unknown dimension. Most of us are at a turning point, some may feel at a dead end. It is possible that your routine is no longer helpful. New events and the uncertainty about future prospects require a willingness to reshape our thinking and approach so that real opportunities can unfold again.

Systemic coaching focuses on ways to think in terms of consequences in order to achieve consistency. Throughout this process, I guide and accompany you with appreciation and motivation. You are then able to take the next step fully convinced and with a new understanding of yourself and your environment.

In the meantime, may your head, your heart and you gut be in harmony and may your decisions always be spot on.

Best wishes,

Tatjana Gaspar
(August 2020)

The new normal: do you trust safety belts or parachutes?

So far, you might have been secretly thinking that if you were hardworking, caring and law-abiding, nothing could affect your lifestyle. Corona has taught us all better. Neither industriousness, nor loyalty nor honesty are safety belts that are of great use to us in times of a pandemic.

Corona is a cyclone sweeping over us. Although the buildings around us are still standing, the destruction of our confidence and of our worldwide economic structure is substantial. We must counter the uncertainty we are now facing with creative parachutes. It is no longer enough if everyone thinks that their common sense is sound and that their attitude is reasonable.

Each one of our decisions can have serious consequences for our immediate environment. If we are aware of this, the responsibility can be frightening.

How do you deal with the uncertainty? Do you fear more about your health, your social structure or your economic future? Is your glass still half full or almost empty? Would you rather stick your head in the sand or open your parachute now?

Cyclones pass and something new can emerge from the chaos they leave behind. You already carry the parachute within you, allowing you to land safely in the midst of the rubble. Systemic coaching helps you realize that.

Maybe you are convinced you can do it alone and with conventional means. No problem! But if not, I am here for you including online.

In the meantime, may you overcome the corona times with elemental trust and in good health.

Best wishes,
Tatjana Gaspar
(July 2020)

Multitasking – Set your boundaries and build your bridges!

Someone recently asked me what special observations I made during the corona lockdown about how people dealt with the unusual, often stressful conditions. One of my many positive observations was that people have outgrown themselves and become jugglers and acrobats.

Keeping many balls in the air over a longer period of time and stretching one’s own imagination like a muscle in all directions to master the next challenge, while creating a new life structure for one’s family or business – that is true multitasking art, which deserves a lot more than a round of applause from the balcony. Multitasking is a super talent that one can be proud of, but there is a danger to body and soul if it is exercised with a high level of stress over a long period of time.

Setting a boundary means protecting your own system from collapse. Building a bridge equals welcoming social interaction and offering mutual support. Boundaries and bridges are important life savers.

What was your experience in this crisis? Were you able to build and consolidate bridges? Have you been noticed and appreciated? What support did you get from your environment? How did you deal with the fear that it might not end well despite all multitasking? Which diversions have worked and which strategies have been successful? How have your personal boundaries shifted during this time?

If you do not like the answers to these questions, a change of perspective could bring more clarity and positive experiences. Let me know if I may help you with this.

Meanwhile, may your life be filled with pride about how you overcame the crisis.

Best wishes, Tatjana Gaspar
(June 2020)

Effective and unequivocal communication – is that possible?

Have you noticed that most misunderstandings are due to a problem in communication? Q sends a message to Z, but Z receives a totally different message, even if both speak the same language. It is possible that Q’s message was inadequate, inappropriate, implausible or incomprehensible. But often Z simply heard and interpreted the message differently. Whether Q and Z are sitting opposite each other or exchanging information over a screen, listening and understanding each other remains a challenge.

This has nothing to do with the language of Q or the education of Z. Most of the time, emotions or cultural aspects are the reason. As Q you have no influence on Z’s ear or state of mind, but you are still responsible for your message. Communication is everything and everything is communication.

Whole volumes were written and multiple strategies were developed to establish the most effective communication in delicate situations, at management level and with groups. Nevertheless, we sometimes fail with our communication in everyday life. This leads to insecurity, frustration or conflicts.

The good news is: You can improve your communication through targeted training. Because clear and open communication sends a strong sign of self-confidence, interest and accountability. Online or with a mask as well!

If this is what you strive for, but your efforts so far have not had the desired effect, I offer you a protected framework where we can give your communication style the desired touch through method and practice. Give yourself a chance and you will be amazed!

Until then, may all your messages be powerful, positive and inspiring.

Best wishes, Tatjana Gaspar
(May 2020)

Mindfulness in times of crisis – transforming the learning curve into an attitude for life

This has not occured in over 100 years: an invisible, unpredictable opponent who knows no boundaries and no mercy teaches us human beings an unexpected lesson in equality. Through shocking images and statistics, we experience how the drama unfolds with its own dynamic. Suddenly, each one of us becomes personally affected, regardless of our social or cultural background. Overnight, old habits are replaced by new rituals, and state-imposed rules of conduct and solidarity become the new normal. At the same time, we all must face and master our individual everyday challenges. And this is where equality ends!

What effect does this situation have on you? Is it difficult to admit that you feel powerless and anxious? Are you under constant stress and fear that you will not be able keep it up much longer? Do you see the crisis as an opportunity to try new things and grow? Do you think above all of others before you take care of your own needs?

We cannot avoid the consequences of the crisis. But we can learn and practice how to influence actively our negative thoughts and feelings thus ensuring that they do not take the upper hand. It takes trust in our inner strength and the will to introduce positive change in our own behavior.

Mindfulness means nothing other than internalizing this positive change and living it daily until it becomes our way of life. This requires discipline, but you are worth this effort for your own good, aren’t you? I am ready to accompany you every step of the way with a targeted coaching method, which by the way works also online.

Until then, may you stay healthy and mindful.

Best wishes for a hopeful Easter,

Tatjana Gaspar
(April 2020)

Hidden competences – an unused competitive advantage!

Every human being’s whole personality is unique. Each one of us carries an impressive mix of skills and talents inside, which we develop in a variety of ways or forget in the course of our lives.

Which competence did you have as a child, but neglected as an adult because it did not seem important anymore? Which one did you acquire with difficulty, but then did not dare put to good use where it would have been worthwhile?

The question is not, whether you have hidden competences, but why you are hiding them instead of dusting them off, refreshing and illuminating them for everyone to see.

Particularly in your professional life it is important to emphasize all aspects of your personality because this can give you a competitive advantage. And perhaps it is precisely the neglected skills that can help us endure times of crisis with creativity and resilience.

So how about if we get to the bottom of it together so that you can rev up fully convinced of your revamped skillset? It is never too early or too late for it. The right moment is anytime. I look forward to your contact whenever you are ready.

Until then, may you remain healthy and confident.

Best wishes, Tatjana Gaspar
(March 2020)

Dealing with failure

All of us fail sometimes, professionally or privately. Failure is an inherent part of our lives. We experience it as a shock, e.g. in case of a layoff, or as an insidious and painful process, e.g. in case of a divorce. The only thing that is common to all people who fail is that they do not remain unaffected by it.

Failure opens the door to a great number of possible emotions: feelings of guilt, shame, anger, brooding, disbelief, reproaches, sadness or fear are just some of the more typical ones. And how do you experience failure? Do you feel blocked or does it spur you on to pursue new goals? Do you speak about it openly or do you hide? Do you take the time to analyze it and perhaps learn a lesson from it? Are you mindful of yourself in the aftermath of failure?

Everything in life has two sides, failure too. Not the process of failing, but how we deal with it defines us as human beings.

Top athletes are excellent examples of how every failure in a competition can be converted into a positive value in the face of the next competition. Top athletes have the chance to rely on their support system, e.g. mental coaches. But you also do not have to cope with and digest the difficult moment of failure on your own. Together we can work with method and focus to create for you an incentive and give you back your self-esteem. I remember how failure felt for me and am only one contact away in case you need support.

Until then, may you look to the future with unwavering positivity.

Kind regards, Tatjana Gaspar
(February 2020)

This thing with New Year’s resolutions

What did your personal balance sheet last year look like? With which new resolutions did you start the New Year? Do you happen to belong to the 90% or so of people who make New Year’s resolutions and abandon them before the end of January?

Resolutions are a fixture for the start of every year, provided you wish to change something, but it helps to answer a question beforehand:

Are you satisfied with being a passenger on the train of life or would you like to be behind the steering wheel?

Regardless how you answer that – there is no right or wrong answer here – your resolutions must be positively worded, credible, future-oriented and realistic, otherwise you will not change anything.

If you are not sure to have the endurance or you have too many doubts about yourself, then we can work together in a constructive manner and change that by mobilizing all of your resources. I am here for you in the New Year, as well, helping you to implement your resolutions, so do not think twice about contacting me!

In the meantime, may everything you wished for in the New Year come true.

Best wishes, Tatjana Gaspar
(January 2020)

Highlight your personality and ensure a positive perception

Are you one of those persons who voice their opinion with self-consciousness or do you tend to hold back? Do you take your own concerns seriously or do you give in because the concerns of others seem more important to you? Are you consistently able to distance yourself from counterproductive influences or do they get under your skin? Those who always subordinate themselves, are not perceived positively.

Maybe you would like to scream out loud “I’m here and now it’s my turn”, but do not dare because your sense of duty, your education or culture stand in your way. This prevents some people from ending a relationship in which they are treated with contempt, and others from demanding a higher wage for their performance, although they are entitled to it. And you?

Successful relationships and a fulfilling job, but also your own perception of yourself have something to do with whether you articulate your wishes and set clear boundaries.

From nothing comes nothing. But everything can change if you change your behavior. Sometimes a small impulse is enough to turn your target into reality. Begin by placing your individual request on top of your priorities list today, thus giving your personality precedence. But how to implement it? I suggest that we find that out together, working with method and focusing on your individual objective.

I look forward to your call. Until then, may courage and determination have a place in your every day.

Best wishes for a luminous holiday season,

Tatjana Gaspar
(December 2019)

Sustainable life – sustainable relationships

Did you already ask yourself how it is possible that, on one hand, our society focusses on all kinds of networks while, on the other hand, our direct relationships have become more superficial and non-binding? We praise a seemingly perfect appearance and a balanced, dynamic way of life because we want to be perceived as cool, modern and self-assured. But what for if we have less and less true friends and get lonelier every day?

We used to have role-models. Nowadays, influencers on our screens dictate how we have to look or live in order to „belong“. But to whom do we want to belong? To the group of followers?

Followers are externally controlled beings in the ether. They are no substitute for true friends. What is your experience? Are you applying the necessary care to make your friendships last? How does your personal friendship balance sheet look at the end of the year?

If you think you did everything right, but despite many efforts it still feels strange, then you have all the more reason to try something new. Why not a new behavior with regard to your relationships? You can change at any moment the direction you give to your life. The future lies in your hands. Call me so we can define your next steps together.

Until then, may your life be enriched by true and meaningful friendships.

Best wishes and a wonderful advent season,

Tatjana Gaspar
(November 2019)