in medias res
or in a nutshell

Effective and unequivocal communication – is that possible?

Have you noticed that most misunderstandings are due to a problem in communication? Q sends a message to Z, but Z receives a totally different message, even if both speak the same language. It is possible that Q’s message was inadequate, inappropriate, implausible or incomprehensible. But often Z simply heard and interpreted the message differently. Whether Q and Z are sitting opposite each other or exchanging information over a screen, listening and understanding each other remains a challenge.

This has nothing to do with the language of Q or the education of Z. Most of the time, emotions or cultural aspects are the reason. As Q you have no influence on Z’s ear or state of mind, but you are still responsible for your message. Communication is everything and everything is communication.

Whole volumes were written and multiple strategies were developed to establish the most effective communication in delicate situations, at management level and with groups. Nevertheless, we sometimes fail with our communication in everyday life. This leads to insecurity, frustration or conflicts.

The good news is: You can improve your communication through targeted training. Because clear and open communication sends a strong sign of self-confidence, interest and accountability. Online or with a mask as well!

If this is what you strive for, but your efforts so far have not had the desired effect, I offer you a protected framework where we can give your communication style the desired touch through method and practice. Give yourself a chance and you will be amazed!

Until then, may all your messages be powerful, positive and inspiring.

Best wishes, Tatjana Gaspar
(May 2020)

Mindfulness in times of crisis – transforming the learning curve into an attitude for life

This has not occured in over 100 years: an invisible, unpredictable opponent who knows no boundaries and no mercy teaches us human beings an unexpected lesson in equality. Through shocking images and statistics, we experience how the drama unfolds with its own dynamic. Suddenly, each one of us becomes personally affected, regardless of our social or cultural background. Overnight, old habits are replaced by new rituals, and state-imposed rules of conduct and solidarity become the new normal. At the same time, we all must face and master our individual everyday challenges. And this is where equality ends!

What effect does this situation have on you? Is it difficult to admit that you feel powerless and anxious? Are you under constant stress and fear that you will not be able keep it up much longer? Do you see the crisis as an opportunity to try new things and grow? Do you think above all of others before you take care of your own needs?

We cannot avoid the consequences of the crisis. But we can learn and practice how to influence actively our negative thoughts and feelings thus ensuring that they do not take the upper hand. It takes trust in our inner strength and the will to introduce positive change in our own behavior.

Mindfulness means nothing other than internalizing this positive change and living it daily until it becomes our way of life. This requires discipline, but you are worth this effort for your own good, aren’t you? I am ready to accompany you every step of the way with a targeted coaching method, which by the way works also online.

Until then, may you stay healthy and mindful.

Best wishes for a hopeful Easter,

Tatjana Gaspar
(April 2020)

Hidden competences – an unused competitive advantage!

Every human being’s whole personality is unique. Each one of us carries an impressive mix of skills and talents inside, which we develop in a variety of ways or forget in the course of our lives.

Which competence did you have as a child, but neglected as an adult because it did not seem important anymore? Which one did you acquire with difficulty, but then did not dare put to good use where it would have been worthwhile?

The question is not, whether you have hidden competences, but why you are hiding them instead of dusting them off, refreshing and illuminating them for everyone to see.

Particularly in your professional life it is important to emphasize all aspects of your personality because this can give you a competitive advantage. And perhaps it is precisely the neglected skills that can help us endure times of crisis with creativity and resilience.

So how about if we get to the bottom of it together so that you can rev up fully convinced of your revamped skillset? It is never too early or too late for it. The right moment is anytime. I look forward to your contact whenever you are ready.

Until then, may you remain healthy and confident.

Best wishes, Tatjana Gaspar
(March 2020)

Dealing with failure

All of us fail sometimes, professionally or privately. Failure is an inherent part of our lives. We experience it as a shock, e.g. in case of a layoff, or as an insidious and painful process, e.g. in case of a divorce. The only thing that is common to all people who fail is that they do not remain unaffected by it.

Failure opens the door to a great number of possible emotions: feelings of guilt, shame, anger, brooding, disbelief, reproaches, sadness or fear are just some of the more typical ones. And how do you experience failure? Do you feel blocked or does it spur you on to pursue new goals? Do you speak about it openly or do you hide? Do you take the time to analyze it and perhaps learn a lesson from it? Are you mindful of yourself in the aftermath of failure?

Everything in life has two sides, failure too. Not the process of failing, but how we deal with it defines us as human beings.

Top athletes are excellent examples of how every failure in a competition can be converted into a positive value in the face of the next competition. Top athletes have the chance to rely on their support system, e.g. mental coaches. But you also do not have to cope with and digest the difficult moment of failure on your own. Together we can work with method and focus to create for you an incentive and give you back your self-esteem. I remember how failure felt for me and am only one contact away in case you need support.

Until then, may you look to the future with unwavering positivity.

Kind regards, Tatjana Gaspar
(February 2020)

This thing with New Year’s resolutions

What did your personal balance sheet last year look like? With which new resolutions did you start the New Year? Do you happen to belong to the 90% or so of people who make New Year’s resolutions and abandon them before the end of January?

Resolutions are a fixture for the start of every year, provided you wish to change something, but it helps to answer a question beforehand:

Are you satisfied with being a passenger on the train of life or would you like to be behind the steering wheel?

Regardless how you answer that – there is no right or wrong answer here – your resolutions must be positively worded, credible, future-oriented and realistic, otherwise you will not change anything.

If you are not sure to have the endurance or you have too many doubts about yourself, then we can work together in a constructive manner and change that by mobilizing all of your resources. I am here for you in the New Year, as well, helping you to implement your resolutions, so do not think twice about contacting me!

In the meantime, may everything you wished for in the New Year come true.

Best wishes, Tatjana Gaspar
(January 2020)

Highlight your personality and ensure a positive perception

Are you one of those persons who voice their opinion with self-consciousness or do you tend to hold back? Do you take your own concerns seriously or do you give in because the concerns of others seem more important to you? Are you consistently able to distance yourself from counterproductive influences or do they get under your skin? Those who always subordinate themselves, are not perceived positively.

Maybe you would like to scream out loud “I’m here and now it’s my turn”, but do not dare because your sense of duty, your education or culture stand in your way. This prevents some people from ending a relationship in which they are treated with contempt, and others from demanding a higher wage for their performance, although they are entitled to it. And you?

Successful relationships and a fulfilling job, but also your own perception of yourself have something to do with whether you articulate your wishes and set clear boundaries.

From nothing comes nothing. But everything can change if you change your behavior. Sometimes a small impulse is enough to turn your target into reality. Begin by placing your individual request on top of your priorities list today, thus giving your personality precedence. But how to implement it? I suggest that we find that out together, working with method and focusing on your individual objective.

I look forward to your call. Until then, may courage and determination have a place in your every day.

Best wishes for a luminous holiday season,

Tatjana Gaspar
(December 2019)

Sustainable life – sustainable relationships

Did you already ask yourself how it is possible that, on one hand, our society focusses on all kinds of networks while, on the other hand, our direct relationships have become more superficial and non-binding? We praise a seemingly perfect appearance and a balanced, dynamic way of life because we want to be perceived as cool, modern and self-assured. But what for if we have less and less true friends and get lonelier every day?

We used to have role-models. Nowadays, influencers on our screens dictate how we have to look or live in order to „belong“. But to whom do we want to belong? To the group of followers?

Followers are externally controlled beings in the ether. They are no substitute for true friends. What is your experience? Are you applying the necessary care to make your friendships last? How does your personal friendship balance sheet look at the end of the year?

If you think you did everything right, but despite many efforts it still feels strange, then you have all the more reason to try something new. Why not a new behavior with regard to your relationships? You can change at any moment the direction you give to your life. The future lies in your hands. Call me so we can define your next steps together.

Until then, may your life be enriched by true and meaningful friendships.

Best wishes and a wonderful advent season,

Tatjana Gaspar
(November 2019)

Nurture your self-confidence

What can you say about your self-confidence? Do you dream your dreams to the end? Do you always realise your plans or does something usually discourage you? Do you listen to insensitive remarks from other people or are you solely responsible for building your inner walls?

Those who take a leap of faith once, know the feeling of enthusiasm and freedom that comes with it. Those who usually back off at the last second, deal each time with the slight frustration of an unanswered question.

Nothing is easier than finding the reasons for not trying. But there is no point in cultivating this waiting spirit any longer.

Would you like to get help, cheer up and finally tear down your walls? Then let us work on it together. Indulge yourself to try and you might be surprised by the outcome. I look forward to your contact.

Until then, may your life be filled with plans that you still want to realise.

Best wishes, Tatjana Gaspar
(October 2019)

Do you still micromanage or already lead with emotional intelligence?

What does leadership mean for you? Do you lead effectively, with pleasure and inspiration? Can you describe your leadership style? Where do you see the interface of leadership and management? You may have tried, heard or read some of it, perhaps you are attending one of the many leadership seminars, where they prepare you for the future needs of your organisation in the digital era. Which part of it can you implement right away and which aspects would you like to target individually?

Above all, you lead yourself before leading and empowering others.Effective leadership has everything to do with emotional intelligence and interpersonal relationships.

This includes having a vision and being a role model, projecting self-awareness and being recognizable, conveying values and appreciation, communicating and living up to standards and principles. The finetuning of your leadership skills and tailor-made training, where you learn how to address conflicts with self-confidence, will allow you to create a sustainable balance and, thus, avoid a leadership vacuum.

There are far too many overwhelmed leaders around. You do not want to be another one. Let’s talk about how you can optimize your individual leadership style for the benefit of your organization. The next step: contact me. I am already looking forward to your unique leadership story.

Until then, may your life be filled with inspiration.

Best wishes, Tatjana Gaspar
(September 2019)

In which pond do you prefer to swim? Do you surround yourself with relaxed fish or rather find yourself regularly crossing paths with a biting species?

Fish are similar to human beings: you do not immediately guess their intentions. You only find out what drives them by observing them carefully. The behaviour of both is defined by needs and stress factors. Regardless of size and shape, fish tend to build functional partnerships with other creatures. Human beings, too, are well aware that they are more productive and effective in teams, than alone.

In your opinion, why do we get caught up in conflicts so often despite our common goals and purposes? How do you personally deal with grueling tensions and snappy fighters? Do you react fiercefully or shyly? And how heavy does the burden of such a conflict weigh in your daily life?

Displaying a relaxed behaviour in the shark tank can be learned and is key for your long-term self-protection – provided you want to stay there.

As your coach, I am ready to take the challenge and work with you so that you can remain calm and constructive in the face of conflict. Are you up for it as well?

I look forward to your contact. Until then, may your life be enriched with productive team experiences.

Best wishes, Tatjana Gaspar
(August 2019)